Being a high school substitute teacher comes with many meaningful days. Days when a few words of encouragement inspire students to be better. Days when you see students grow before your very eyes. Days when students teach you things about life in a way that no adult possibly could.

Today was not one of them. 

Jackson and I arrive at a friend’s small get together. I don’t waste any time and tell him what had happened just hours earlier:

Me: Welp, the unthinkable happened subbing today…

Jackson: Did you have to break up another fight?

Me: No, worse.

Jackson: What could possibly be worse?

Me: I was subbing woodshop, talking to a student…

Jackson: And…

Me: I look up, and see a long table.

Jackson: Ok…

Me:  With a bunch of red party cups….

Jackson: No…

Me:  Ping pong balls were thrown.

Jackson: BULLSHIT!

Me: Yeah, the first high school game of beer pong recorded in history happened on my watch. 

If you’re wondering how a game of beer pong managed to happen without me noticing, the truth is, I was talking sports with another student. That’s all it took to distract me. 

Jackson: No fucking way. Knowing you I bet you joined in and played.

Me: Nope…I took it up a notch and pulled a Super Troopers.

For those of you who don’t know, there is a scene in the movie Super Troopers where the cops catch a ton of weed on a couple of stoners. Instead of arresting them, they make the stoners smoke all the weed until it’s gone.

Jackson: They downed it all?!

Me: Yep, I made them finish all the beer, and well, those fuckers got hammered.

*Dylan The Buzzkill Enters*

In comes the flamin’ angry ginger with as many freckles as there are stars in the universe. He looked like that kid growing up who tells on people for cussing and feels righteous after doing so. His brow was furrowed so hard that it made his forehead look like it grew a few inches – he was ready to wage war.

Dylan The Buzzkill: YOU WHAT?

Oh god, here we go.

Me: Nothing, Dylan.

Dylan The Buzzkill: DID YOU JUST SAY YOU GOT YOUR STUDENTS…DRUNK…???

Me: I’m fucking kidding…about making them finish all the beer. You know high school kids suck at chugging.

Dylan The Buzzkill: OH!! Because they aren’t good at (uses finger quotes) “CHUGGING.” Otherwise, you’d HAPPILY get your students INTOXICATED. 

He said “chugging” like it had three syllables. Awkward pauses between consonants, like how a fifty-year-old white dad says MAR-I-JUA-NA. 

Me: Kidding again! There wasn’t alcohol in the cups (this is true).

Dylan The Buzzkill: Uh huh. You REALLY shouldn’t be a substitute teacher. I’d NEVER let beer pong happen if I were a sub.

Jackson: Hey Dylan, you REALLY should learn to take a joke.

Dylan The Buzzkill: IT’S NOT FUNNNNNNNYYYYYY

*Dylan The Buzzkill exits*

Me: Anyway…a few minutes after I crackdown on the game of beer pong, a machine breaks with everyone thinking it’s hilarious except me. Thank god there wasn’t alcohol in those cups – the thought of them operating machinery intoxicated would lead to…oh shit.

Jackson: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Uh…onward…

***

If you haven’t read part one of this series, which is about why people get offended now more than ever, give it a quick read.

Dylan The Buzzkill, a glorified Anti-Humor Warrior could not take a joke to save his life. Policing people at a small get together because a joke offended them is just about as Anti-Humor Warrior as it gets.

Anti-Humor Warriors have an innate ability to suck the fun out of the room that would give black holes a run for their money. This is problematic in more ways than one: just like how a bad ankle can cause a bad knee, and a bad knee can cause a bad back, being without a sense of humor compromises much more than simply missing out on a laugh or two: 

Lacking a sense of humor develops a hardened, negative perspective. A negative perspective leads to feeling unmotivated and depressed. Feeling depressed leads to feeling defeated. Feeling defeated makes overcoming challenges nearly impossible.

But just as losing a sense of humor can compromise us in multiple ways, the opposite is true, too. A true sense of humor connects us to being free-spirited. When we’re free-spirited, we worry less and live in the present more. When we live in the present moment, we fend off anxiety and attract stillness. When we experience stillness, we have a fearless attitude and are undeterred by the challenges life throws at us.

Much of this post will talk about what it means to be a free-spirit, because it is rooted in having a true sense of humor. Humor is spontaneous. Humor lives in the present moment. Humor heightens experiences.

This post will explore what prevents us from being connected to having a true sense of humor, followed by a solution to overcome this. Applying the principle will not only enrich good moments into the best moments but also offer light in the darkest times.  

Let’s begin.

Five Things That Disconnect Us With A Sense Of Humor

To recap, Anti-Humor Warriors are people who…

• Cannot take a joke
• Get offended over things that have nothing to do with them
• Get offended if your beliefs are not perfectly aligned with theirs
• Are constantly correcting others
• Always feel slighted others over insignificant matters
• Opportunistic at exploiting flaws in others (which are often fabricated).
• Obsess over another person’s word choice (like “grammar-nazis” but with someone’s choice of words).
• Take pleasure in people’s pain
• An overall buzzkill.

The combination of these useless traits leads Anti-Humor Warriors into engaging in the following free-spirit killing behaviors:

Takes everything literally

*pulls out some cayenne pepper*

Anti-Humor Warrior: What is that?!

Me: It’s spicy cocaine. Want some?

Anti-Humor Warrior: OH MY GAWWWWWD WHY ARE YOU OFFERING ME DRUGZZZ???

Me: Whoa, you took that literally. 

I am not entirely sure why, but for some reason, people started taking damn near everything literally the past few years. What ever happened to some good ol’ witty banter and lighthearted sarcasm back and forth? 

If you are in the presence of the Anti-Humor Warrior, they will take just about everything literally (like Dyan The Buzzkill). There’s no room to talk freely and bullshit with friends. This kills the mood, preventing you and any of your friends from letting loose and having fun. 

Takes themselves too serious

Anti-Humor Warrior: I just got a COLLEGE DEGREE and am going to pursue a MASTER’S DEGREE next.

Me: In what? Underwater basket weaving? 

Anti-Humor Warrior: WHAT? No, I majored in comm and graduated FIFTH in my class!

Me:  Fifth place? Keep your voice down, nobody appreciates the fourth loser.

Anti-Humor Warrior: EXCUSE ME? I WORKED HARD. WHAT DID YOU ACCOMPLISH? 

Me: I can calm down soccer moms.

Anti-Humor Warriors have a pristine self-image, causing them to take themselves too seriously. If you make a joke at their expense, that will guarantee them to be upset. This exaggerated self-significance in daily life can be viewed as an act of shortsightedness: they see themselves with a magnifying glass in every situation, blurring out other people’s perspective, what they’re going through, and their interests. 

In fact, this is a big reason why they get offended over matters that have nothing to do with them: since they only see things from a self-important lens, it makes them hypersensitive to any lighthearted jabs coming their way.

Just being around someone with an exaggerated feeling of significance alone can kill the mood. It’s like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re around that person – you never know when something you say will offend them. 

Critiques everything

Me: I like sprinting.

Anti-Humor Warrior: You should REALLY consider doing CrossFit. It’s WAY better. 

Me: Thanks for the info. 

Ever been having a good time with friends, and then out of left field, someone made a critique that killed the mood? This is an unfailing characteristic you will find in all Anti-Humor Warriors: they find ways to unnecessarily critique, thus, being the glorified buzzkill. All this excessive critique accomplishes is that it tightens people up, creates tension, and puts people on edge. 

Just as knocking someone down doesn’t make you taller, minimizing someone’s experiences does not make you wiser/stronger/superior. It’s the illusion the Anti-Humor Warrior tries to create.

Corrects others constantly

Me: I love jacuzzis. 

Anti-Humor Warrior: ACCCKTUALLLLLY they’re called hot tubs. Jacuzzi is a brand.

Me: Save that shit for Reddit. 

Anti-Humor Warriors love correcting you on the most pointless shit. Where this differs from critiquing others is, their critique is typically unrequested (bad) advice, whereas their corrections are unimportant, slight technicalities. They likely correct you over something petty that needed no correction at all. 

This is especially annoying when you’re balls-deep into telling a story and in the middle of it, they interject with their correction. It’s such a mood killer. 

Fixated on the future

Me: Tonight is going to be fun.

Anti-Humor Warrior: Ugh. I am SO not looking forward to tomorrow though. I have a TON of work to do.

Me: Alrighty.

There is no way to let loose, laugh, and be in the present moment when we are fixated on the future. An over fixation on the future usually stems from someone who has strayed away from their path. Had they been making each day count, then it would be easy to enjoy the present.

It’s rare to find an Anti-Humor Warrior committed to their path making the most of each day. Whenever we put off what we know we should be doing, there is lingering guilt. Rather than make the day count, Anti-Humor Warriors handle this by making pessimistic comments about the future.

We can always find something to be worried about in the future, and likewise, we can always find something to be grateful about in the present. 

The Domino Effect

In his autobiography, Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, a prisoner at the Nazi concentration camps made a promise with another prisoner: to tell each other at least one funny story or funny joke each day. 

Frankl didn’t allow seemingly unbearable circumstances to rob him of having a sense of humor each day. Of course, the circumstances Frankl was up against were anything but funny. Rather than seek pity, anger, or resentment – which nobody could blame Frankl for – he chose humor. There must be a reason that Frankl sought humor while under some of the harshest conditions one can fathom. Of all ways to react, why would Frankl choose to seek humor?

Humor keeps us present. 

Those times when things seem hopeless, it can be very easy to get ahead of ourselves. Sometimes the best way to counter those feelings of overwhelm is to find a way to be present in the moment. 

Seeking humor requires us to pause and be observant in the now. Recognizing irony, engaging in witty banter, making light of the uncomfortable truths all require us to not only step into the present but to fully immerse ourselves in the small details of life. 

Humor attracts stillness.

Stillness is experienced when we completely let go of what is outside of our control. It is stillness that fends off anxiety, worry, and paranoia. It empties our mind, making us untroubled, undisturbed by small things that could get under our skin. Tapping into stillness is a superpower.

Seeing things through a humorous lens detaches our mind from things we have no control over and streamlines our mind on what we do have control over – our perspective, our attitude. Frankl himself said that “everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Just as there is a silver lining in every challenge, there is a humorous perspective in every circumstance – you just have to search for it.

Humor involves storytelling

We are wired for stories. Stories entertain us. Stories engage our emotions. Stories reflect our past experiences. Stories grab our attention. Stories have the power to shift our focus away from the mundane and into the sublime.

Anything we find funny is rooted in some type of story. It may be a thirty-second story, it may be several minutes. There may not even be a story told per se, but something we can relate to. Take memes for example: we usually find something funny about them because we can connect a personal experience to them. The meme itself doesn’t tell a story, but the experience we associate with it does. 

Humor helps us not take everything so seriously.

When we adopt a true sense of humor we’re able to freely laugh at ourselves. The very thing that makes people hypersensitive and get easily offended – being a fragile ego –  is overcome when we willingly take a joke.

This frees us and sparks a fun, lighthearted, carefree attitude.  It encourages playful back and forth banter, which can be surprisingly therapeutic when life gets tough.  

***

A sense of humor is more than experiencing a laugh or two. Just as exercise benefits not only body composition, but also brain health, immune health, emotional health, plus much more, the same case can be made for having a sense of humor:

A sense of humor can be the catalyst to being in the moment, experiencing stillness, captivating storytelling, and a carefree demeanor – things that release us from the day-to-day monotony. They overcome the obstacles mentioned in the previous section and connect us with the free-spirited energy in its purest form.

Obviously, I cannot speak for Frankl as to why he chose to seek humor. But it goes without question that if Frankl made a promise to tell a funny joke or story each day with another prisoner, then there must be something incredibly powerful about seeking humor. It not only can uplift our spirits but can be the very thing that keeps our faith strong when all hope seems lost. 

The #1 Thing

We’ve all experienced being free-spirited – those moments when time flies, when we feel we can be our true selves, when we are without worry. 

But this is typically only experienced either when people feel things are going well, or at random. Why is it the moment people have a few things not go their way that their entire demeanor flips? They no longer allow themselves to laugh, be present with others, and enjoy life.

It’s like a rule people create in their minds that they’re not allowed to laugh and feel good about themselves unless their life is going exactly how they want it to be. Why limit yourself to such strict conditions, especially when certain factors may be outside of your control? What if you could have a sense of humor and feel free regardless of how things are going in your life?

The #1 thing you must do to feel free is this: seek humor not only on the good days, but especially on the challenging days. The days when nothing seems to be going your way are the most important days to seek humor. 

What does it mean to seek humor?

• Recognize irony
• Pay attention to the everyday nuances people are quick to dismiss
• Fuck around a little bit and bullshit with your friends
• Make light of uncomfortable truths or topics that are hard to face

Rather than look at uncomfortable truths through the lens of anger, pessimism, or self-pity, (which is what Anti-Humor Warriors do) view things through the lens of humor. Anything that puts a humorous spin on something qualifies as seeking humor.

For example, recently multiple doctors told me I might have testicular cancer (which turned out to be false). Rather than feel sorry for myself, I made a joke to my friends saying, “a few doctors think I have testicular cancer, but let’s be honest, I just got big balls.”

Six months of meeting with doctors and getting multiple tests done. Six months of uncertainty. But turning to humor over fear kept me seemingly stress-free during those six months.

The bottom line is to make light of the situation – find a way to spin a humorous perspective on the uncomfortable topics that scare us or that we have a hard time facing. 

Do this, and you will turn the bad days into good days, the good days into the best days. Do this, and you will get past the anxiety of the future and step into the stillness of the present. Do this, and you will tap into the carefree, free-spirited energy that makes us come alive. 

Frankl chose humor over fear. His body may have been imprisoned but his mind was free. 

It’s all a choice. 

Principle: Seek humor not only on the good days, but especially on the challenging days. 

Anti-Humor Warriors embody qualities that lead them to getting offended rather than let loose, laugh, and feel free They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, making them hypersensitive to any joke at their expense. They’d rather critique people than accept them, take everything literally than engage in witty banter, fixate on the future rather than be in the moment.

As mentioned in part one, they indulge in False Humor, which is taking pleasure in people’s pain, and use the above examples to do so. They are the antithesis of the free-spirit, the glorified buzzkill.

Instead, seek humor by recognizing irony. Find something funny about everyday things most people dismiss. Engage in witty banter and bullshit a bit with your friends. Put a humorous spin on the uncomfortable truths or topics that may be hard to face. Do these things daily, and not only will you feel tremendous relief, but you will connect with the boundless, revitalizing, rejuvenating, free-spirited energy – the true sense of humor.  

Pitfalls to Avoid:

• Letting challenges in life harden you.
• Only allowing yourself to laugh and feel good about yourself on the good days.
• Thinking your circumstances are too harsh to live with a sense of humor.

Key Takeaways:

• Anti-Humor Warriors seek to get offended rather than make light of a situation, making it impossible for them to connect with a true sense of humor.
• A sense of humor keeps us in the present moment, attracts stillness, involves storytelling, and helps us not take everything too seriously.
• Viktor Frankl made a point to seek humor everyday in the Nazi concentration camps. If he can seek humor in such conditions, then so can any of us under any circumstance.

Taking Action:

The moment things get tough, make it a habit to seek humor rather than anger, resentment, and self-pity.