It’s the first week of training for work and a guest speaker comes in to advise us how to be effective mentors and presenters. Many of us had zero experience in this field, so we were eager for actionable steps to get better.

Faker: My advice to all of you is to fake it till you make it.

I think to myself, does that mean she is faking this presentation…?

The next year for training she came in and said the same thing – be fake. She was faking it. Using the same speech year after year, without concern to learn more or get better. This ‘faking it’ was a widely accepted phrase within the administration, like it was like part of the culture.

Chances are you’ve heard this fake it till you make it phrase used before. It’s generally well accepted by the majority of people, but does that mean it’s good for you? Could it, in fact, be working against you and robbing you of your potential? I’m here to caution you of the misleading nature of the fake it till you make it approach. Here are five problems with the “Fake it Till You Make It” idea:

Faking it lowers self-esteem.

I would make the argument that someone arrogant or cocky actually has low self-esteem – they need to overcompensate to cover up their insecurities. And faking it is one of the biggest forms of overcompensation.

Instead of choosing to invest in personal growth, taking the easy route to be fake destroys self-belief. When you’re faking it you’re silently admitting to yourself you don’t believe in your abilities. And the more you fake it, the more you will reinforce this sense of self-doubt.

Faking it avoids asking for help.

Does someone who uses fake tactics search for real help?

Asking for help is an act of humility and demonstrates high self-esteem. Faking it exemplifies a need to seem like you have all the answers, which is a rookie mistake (no one has all the answers, which is why there are teams). Asking for help opens the door to new perspectives, builds relationships, and creates unity among a team. It makes people feel important and allows them to step up and grow as well.

Focusing on faking it opposed to bringing others in to help isolates you from others. Not until someone who has been faking it realizes it isn’t bringing them their desired results will they ask for help. Until then, they’re on a lonely road.

Fakers try to be someone they’re not.

How do you find your stride and stand out when you’re faking it? How do you reach your potential if you’re being fake? Faking it comes at the expense of losing your authenticity, your voice, and your individuality. 

You are an original. There will never be another copy of you. But if you try to copy someone else, the world will never see your gift. Embracing your authenticity leaves a lasting impression the world has never seen before.  

“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not here

Edwin Elliott

People who fake it for so long begin to drift away from who they really are. Their identity and what they stand for will blur with the fake persona they created. A double life is created, and soon enough they focus supremely on how they’re perceived opposed to who they are. A fake self will never be good enough to replace your best self.

“You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” 

Ben Mikaelsen

Faking it alleviates people of putting in the hard work.

Why is this a popular and well-accepted phrase? Quick fixes that relieve people of hard work are often widely accepted. It seduces many into the fantasy that they can have what they want without putting in much effort.

Instead of taking time to invest in personal growth, the fake it till you make it mindset implies you can skip that phase. Unfortunately, this idea to be fake as an effective strategy only leads people astray, putting a limit on their potential and all they could accomplish. Your best work can only be found in hard work.

It’s a ME ME ME approach.

Fakers think they can skip hard work and just receive which screams entitlement. What can I get out of this without having to work hard? What’s in it for me? It’s a self-driven motive rather than purpose driven. Let me ask you this:

Do you want your doctor faking it till he makes it?

Do you want our military defending our country faking it till they make it?

Do you want an expensive financial advisor faking it till he makes it?

Do you want your personal trainer faking it till he makes it?

Do you want your chiropractor giving your neck an adjustment faking it till he makes it?

It would be a disservice to you if any of these people were faking it till they made it. Don’t you think the people you’re presenting to, the people you’re serving deserve dedication you put into your craft?

Instead of faking it, believe that you belong.

Believing that you belong simply means you are exactly where you’re meant to be. How to cultivate this belief is by staying on The Path. When you stay on The Path day by day, wherever it leads you, you will know you’re in the right spot. There will be an inner conviction that you belong unlike anything else.

This has nothing to do with following your strengths or natural talent. Someone can be using their strengths but in the wrong area. They’ll climb a mountain and reach the top using their strengths, only to realize they’re on the wrong mountain.

Being on The Path leads you toward a mission that comes from your purpose. Your purpose is the calling; The Path is the compass that leads you there. By staying on The Path, wherever it leads you to, you will know in your mind “this is where I’m meant to be” and therefore there will be a supreme belief that you belong. If you’re curious to know more about The Path and living by your purpose, there is an entire category dedicated to that on this blog.

Principle: Instead of faking it, believe you belong by staying on The Path.

Fake it till you make it is a heavily embraced and accepted ideology. But be wary of the road most commonly traveled – it’s usually polluted with broken dreams, gifts gone to waste, and enthusiasm turned to stone. This road creates the illusion of a shortcut that is really disguised as a dead end.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and

Mark Twain

Remind yourself of your mission, and stay on The Path that guides you to it. No need to be fake. Think about those who need you at your best. Imagine all the lives you can inspire not by being a fake self, but by being your best self.

Pitfalls to Avoid:

• Thinking you need to be someone else to be at your best.
• Skipping hard work and expecting a large reward.
• Looking to fake it instead of asking for help.

Key Takeaways:

• Choosing to fake it is telling yourself I’m not good enough.
• Choosing the fake route is a lazy, me-centered approach to reaching goals.
• If you stay on The Path, you will feel like you belong wherever it leads you to, which will give you no need to fake it.

Taking Action:

Ask yourself if you’ve been on The Path lately. If you have, bravo, keep it up. If you haven’t, not to worry – what is one step you can take to get back on The Path?